Twisty x Reader Crackfic NSFW
by faunling
Summary: Let's get freaky with a clown.
1. Chapter 1

Twisty the clown pulls down his baggy clown pants to reveal two massive cocks.

He begins to stroke them simultaneously with his dirty fucking hands stained black with dirt and dried blood.  
"Arre yu shur u want thssss?" he slurs, his tongue flopping around behind his crusty ass clown mask.

You tell him to shut up. He obeys.

He inserts one dick into your vagina and the other into your ass.  
He groans loudly and his mask falls off, leaking saliva now dripping onto your back.  
Literally spit is everywhere. This fucker is so goddamn nasty. He comes within 30 seconds from both dicks.

You're disappointed. He is as well, and he puts back on his mask to hide the giant gaping hole in his head. He makes slurping sounds while trying to apologize.

He smells like ham.  
You want to go home.

You tell him you have to leave. He puts a hand on your shoulder while asking you to stay and you notice the actual filth crammed under his chewed up fucking nails.  
His eyes beckon you. They're red. His face is caked up with paint. This bitch has no idea what a makeup wipe is.

Slowly he removes his mask and leans in for a kiss. You have no idea where your lips are supposed to go.  
Now there is saliva all over your fucking face. His tongue is inside your mouth. He tastes like blue cheese and diarrhea.

You're pretty sure you've just shit out what remained of your soul as his thick sausage fingers graze your vagina. Bitch wants a second chance but you'll probably have to get a tetanus shot if he tries to finger you.

Why not though. Like, who cares. sure. Let's do it. Let's get freaky.


	2. Chapter 2

Eventually the clown gave up trying to please you despite your trying to guide him. He had no idea what a clitoris was and you weren't about to give him a sex ed lesson.  
You put on your clothes and note how he didn't wash his hands after fruitlessly fingering the holy shit out of you. Not like they were clean to begin with, but still, that's really fucking nasty.  
You ask him for payment but he's flat broke. He can't even give you enough money to buy a douche with after he soiled your vagina with his grimy clown claws. Worst day of your life.  
You leave the woods in search of a new John or some offer of work. Times are tough and it's so hot that your vagina is sweating. Or maybe you are just bleeding; his nails were pretty long.  
You stumble across a sign for a freak show nearby. You could give handjobs to midgets and fuck some contortionists. They should pay well because they probably have no one else willing. Should be fun, you decide, and you follow the directions given.  
Some freaks are gathered around outside their tents, conversing and unaware of your presence. All are occupied except one, a handsome looking young man who was seemingly normal. When you gazed down at the promising bulge in his pants, you then notice his big, meaty claws.  
Hey, better than fucking a greasy clown. At least this one is cute.  
You approach him confidently and introduce yourself. He smiles, his brown eyes flirtatious and alluring. He accepts your offer and takes you behind a tent for business.  
You ask him what he wants but he shakes his head.  
"No, I want to touch you."  
You shrug and accept. His hands are veiny as fuck, but they're clean. He smells more like sweat and cheap cologne than country ham, so that's a plus, too.  
His lobster claws feel up your tits and slide down your curves, pinching your ass with his two thick fingers.  
He kisses you passionately and takes your breath away for a moment. This boy has had some serious experience and wasn't what you had expected at all.  
You let loose a moan right as you hear a rustling in the bushes.  
The boy pulls away from your neck and turns around. The two of you are met by the clown, staring and panting.  
Good god, he smells like ass.  
He must have ran here because he was sweating like a whore in church and his makeup was melting, revealing splotches of peachy pink under the white chalkiness.  
"Jesus Christ, man!" The boy shouts, both with surprise and disgust. He covers his nose with his claws. "Do you mind?"  
The clown does not reply, he only tilts his head and shifts his gaze directly at you.  
You tell him that your business with him was done and you're currently with a client. You ask him to leave, but he acts as though he doesn't hear you. He continues to stare.  
"What the fuck? She said leave." The boy pushed the clown and was immediately punched in the mouth.  
You give out a small scream as you catch the boy and hold him away from this piss-ass clown.  
"It's okay, I'm okay." He assures you, wiping the blood from his lips.  
You kiss his mouth and the blood smears across both of your faces. The clown watches.  
The boy grabs you aggressively, pulling you closer to his body. You feel his erection while he jams his tongue down your throat.  
The clown has a double erection. You almost forgot he had two cocks.  
"Come on then, asshole." The boy invites the clown in. He eagerly obliges.  
After a couple of rough squeezes and bites, the three of you are in a pile grinding on top of each other like maggots.  
Everything smells like garbage but it feels so right. Everyone tears each other's clothes off and your bodies act as a giant slip n slide.  
The boy's cock is in your mouth. The clown fills vagina as uses his own sweat and saliva as a lubricate before entering your ass with his second cock. God knows he had plenty of it.  
All you needed now was someone to fuck your ears and nose and you would be totally plugged up.  
The lord must have heard your thoughts because suddenly a dapper dressed young man arrived complaining of the smell.  
"Come on, Dandy." the boy groaned.  
His disgust soon turned to curiosity.  
"This looks like fun."  
Your pleading for him to fuck your ears is muffled by the cock in your mouth.  
Dandy whips out his cock and hits you in the ear with it. It's a wonderfully strange sensation.  
The moans sound like a chorus of flies swarming a landfill.  
The boy is the first to come. His semen drips out of your mouth and he catches it with his thick fingers and shoves it up your nose. You snort it like sweet cocaine.  
Next is the clown. He sprays all over your back and in Dandy's hair, who cries out with anger.  
This anger only fuels him to furiously bat you in the ear with his dick. He comes in your eardrum. All you hear is the sound of babies dying and pro-lifers sobbing.  
Semen fills every hole in your body. You are now complete. This is euphoria. Your chakras are aligned and filled with sperm. Enlightenment tastes really salty.


End file.
